A Grown up's Guide to EFT for Children
Parents, Educators and all Carers
Welcome to this specialised section on Using EFT with Children. You can read first hand accounts of how EFT has been used with children for everything from anger, trauma and bedwetting to fears, behavior problems and pain. Some of these accounts are written by professional therapists who have developed advanced skills with EFT. Others were written by novice parents who were in search of relief for their children's problems. All of them should contribute to your understanding and use of EFT. Newcomers wishing to learn EFT should first to able to gain much from this website and also from www.eftworking.co.uk.
Not surprisingly, many of these issues are the same as those reported by adults. Unresolved childhood issues do, of course, hang around for adulthood. Wouldn't it be nice to resolve them early?
Why EFT is great for Children ?
EFT can be used for just about any emotional problem you can name ... and for just about anyone. EFT is a priceless for children for all emotional issues, including learning disabilities, and in my opinion should be adopted by every school system in the world.
EFT has been used with children for everything from anger, trauma and bedwetting to fears and phobias, behavior problems, nail biting, nightmares, results of bullying, lack of confidence, learning enhancement and pain.
Not surprisingly, many of these issues are the same as those reported by adults. Unresolved childhood issues do, of course, hang around for adulthood.
Wouldn't it be nice to resolve them early?
Children are very responsive to EFT and usually find it to be good fun!
EFT is easy to teach to children
The techniques been used successfully to help children with a variety of issues.
Now EFT is almost the only tool that I use for clearing emotional blocks. Although there are many types of Meridian Energy Therapies available, I use EFT most often because of its simplicity and consistent results.
Share your tapping stories, ask questions, share tips here on the forum
The Healthy outcomes children gain from EFT
*To speak positively to themselfand others
* To make friends with their brain
* That they can nurture a healthy mind and body
*That they can strengthen their tools to help them when:
• Angry • Sad
• Nervous • Frustrated
• Scared • Tired
• Bored • Confused
That they can be flexible and strong
Have better concentration
Can help others
Be confident
Can be creative
Can be caring
Can be happy
Can be smart
Can be be kind
Can be calm
Of course, we would all like to consider childhood as a carefree time, full of happiness, love and laughter. However the reality is that many children face similar challenges in every day life as their adult parents, the difference for children, is that they do not have the wisdom or years of experience to make sense of their feelings.
It is claimed by many child psychologists that between the ages of 3 years and 11 years is an imprint period. This means that childhood experiences between these ages are likely to have an impact on who that child becomes, how they feel, behave and represent the world to themselves in later life. This is why it is extremely important that a child is given the opportunity to understand their feeling and emotions. Failure to do so, could lead to that child growing up and feeling unable to ever achieve their full potential.
Common problems for children include:
•Exam stress
•Lack of Confidence
•Low Self Esteem
•Phobias
•Bereavement
•Parents Divorce
Now, in my work as an Advanced EFT Practitioner and NLP and MBTI Practitioner, I am able to practice a uniquely combined set of skills to relate to children in a way that empowers them and engages them with their imagination to create the subconscious changes that need to be made. I trained as a teacher and tutor for children of all ages. I encourage learning through play, and it is using this mind set that I am able to gain such good rapport with my younger clients.
Children are much more flexible than adults, their minds are more open to the idea of change. They have not received the same conditioning from life that adults have. This means that results occur much more quickly when working with children. I ask parents to support their child through treatment in a variety of ways, and this will usually involve others within the family behaving or reacting in new ways. Working within the AAMET code of practice, children under 16 are accompaigned when they visit my practice. I am however able to build a good rapport with the child as the parent can be close by without the child feeling that they cannot express themselves comfortably. This is because when the parents are in the room, they would tend to let their parents do most of the talking and thinking!
I have a valid CRB clearance.
I teach EFT so that you can confidently use the basic form right away after our first session. Children learn “Tapping” quickly too and often become instant experts and want to teach their friends who have nightmares or nervousness or some other problem.
Children and teens respond beautifully to EFT. It's simple, it's gentle, and it's lots of fun!
Kids love to know and learn something they can do for themselves in a world that can sometimes feel overwhelming. Our childhood experiences are written on our emotional walls and depending on their quality, become either "stop signs" or "green lights" as we move through life. EFT can help kids experience the "green lights" of their wondrous nature
EFT for parents and Children together
Since children and adults with ADHD/ADD and learning difficulties are often caught in the cycle of frustration and failure, non-invasive drug-free methods which are easy to use and non-threatening like EFT have an important role to play in reducing levels of stress and improving their physical, academic, social and emotional well being
As a Parent or Teacher what would it mean to you, if your Children had high levels of Inner Peace and Self Confidence?
Using EFT with your children can be a most rewarding experience. However, there are a few things we need to know. As often occurs, a parent or teacher, has his/her own frustration or emotion over the child’s issue. This can aggravate the problem and create resistance from the child. Solution? Parents and teachers need to use EFT first on themselves.
Our children tend to be intimately tied to our own emotional state. Emotions get transferred between people when they interact, and our children are often like tuning forks for our emotional states. We need to be free of our own negative emotional state ABOUT our children’s problems, in order to work with them ON their problems.
The goal is to teach you EFT so you can use it comfortably at home or in the classroom with your children. You will learn to treat yourself with EFT for the things your children do, that upset you.
EFT has proven to be very effective with children:
Learning multiplication tables rapidly
Nervousness about exams & grade improvement
Fear of making mistakes
ADD/ADHD
Dyslexia
Blocked creativity
Separation anxiety
First day at school apprehension
School phobia
Dealing with peer pressure
Driver’s test anxiety
Student/teacher friction
Being bullied, teasing
Anger
Shyness
Sport Performance
Sports anxiety
Fear of the dark
Bedtime fears
Dealing with temper tantrums
Nightmares
Fear of Father Christmas, Clowns fear
Fear of thunder, lightening
Pet grief
Restlessness
Travel sickness
Homesickness, loneliness
And many more
When you really want to help your child
As a parent how often have you wished that you could make your child's sadness, upsets and fears just disappear? Is your child being teased or bullied, leaving him or her with damaged self-esteem and a compromised sense of safety?
Has an unkind family member or teacher left your child feeling stupid or inept?
What about fears and phobias ... do you worry that your child will carry these into adulthood?
Children are resilient and you have likely seen your own child bounce back from a challenging time.
But what if that challenge ... or trauma, has left an imprint on your child's subtle energy system?
Is that a new term to you? Subtle energy system?
If so, then you may wish to explore Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) ... a healing tool that offers a new explanation for your child's intense emotional reactions ... and offers a solution to keep your child from taking that trauma into adulthood.
EFT is an emotional version of acupuncture exceptyou don't use needles. Instead, you stimulate well established meridian points by tapping on them with your fingertips.
The idea here is that negative emotions are caused by imbalances in the body's subtle energies (the Chinese call it Chi) and this tapping serves to restore that balance. Properly done, even the heaviest trauma or the most embarrassing rejection becomes "just something else that happened."
Learn EFT
You can help your child -- your whole family in fact -- gain freedom from emotional upset and trauma while they are still children. Using EFT will increase your children's chances of growing up free of negative beliefs about themselves ... and without those fears and phobias.
So if your son messed up his lines in a school play and the whole school laughed at him ... and now he won't speak in front of people ... EFT can help erase the trauma associated with that situation ... and reduce the likelihood that he'll have a fear of public speaking as an adult.
He doesn't need to keep feeling bad about himsef ... and you can stop worrying.
EFT can resolve children's anger, fear, learning difficulties, emotional upset.
Perhaps you could use EFT to help your child resolve an anger issue or dissipate a firmly held fear. You can help him or her eliminate some learning disabilities, relieve headaches & nightmares or get rid of some tendencies to stutter.
Does your child have a fear that is interfering with his or her joy in life? Maybe it is a fear of water ... of bugs ... of the dark ... a fear of a child at school -- whatever it is -- it's making your child suffer unnecessarily.
Anyone ... even children ... can learn the basics of EFT. Here is a tool that empowers you and your children to take control of lingering emotional hurts and upsets.
There are numerous EFT in action stories for children later in this e book where children have cleared traumatic emotional issues ... like the death of a pet, or grandparent ... then gone on with their lives as if the trauma had never happened ... and they are left with the happy memories.
Please note that in addition to eliminating children's fears and traumas, EFT has been a consistently effective healing tool for hundreds of other physical, mental and emotional ailments. For more information, you can explore the www.eftworking.co.uk for numerous success stories regarding fears, phobias, emotional traumas and physical ailments.
Please consult qualified health professionals before putting EFT into practice for yourself or others.
Reflections on using EFT for Children
By Christine Moran, Bsc, EFT-ADV
EFT - Not a Plaster!
As a teacher, tutor, parent and passionate personal development coachthe sobering statistics about our next generations poor emotional health and incidence of early depression is disheartening. Even if you feel that this does not apply to your children we owe it to them to provide them with the best opportunities to manage their wellbeing.
That’s how I discovered EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques, an energy therapy based on the body’s meridian points. A kind of “psychological acupressure,” EFT sounded too good to be true, I started to use it on friends, family and myself.
Amazed at the results, I focused totally on EFT as my main tool and trained and studied with it for the last number of years.
Children love the unusual, and they responded beautifully to EFT. I use it for everything! The shy reception child whose mother was suffering from depression, had to be pried from his mother’s leg each morning because of separation anxiety; the tearful 10 year old who is sad because her father hadn’t been home in months; an angry boy who thinks life isn’t fair and takes it out on his teacher; right up to the sixth formers who were panicking about failing the forthcoming AS papers. EFT worked! I now had a tool that made a difference, and I was ready to take it to the classrooms.
I have used a whole variety of ideas for introducing EFT to all ages. Essentially the method with EFT is the same for baby with colic as it is for a teenager with addiction tendancies. How it is delivered and accepted however needs careful adjustment.
Below you will find a selection of articles outlining a diverse number of children’s Issues and how EFT can help. The list is by no means exhaustive, it is an attempt to illustrate the power and diversity with which EFT can be used for small or large issues which can be deep rooted or right in your face now!
Confident, Happy Children
Exam Confidence
What would you rather?
Tap away the “ I just can’t do’s……………
Introducing EFT by Timmy Bear
EFT for a child’s Anger
EFT for fear of needles
EFT Eliminates Child's Motion Sickness
Emotional Eating
Sleep Issues
Abuse
Depression in Pregnancy
Positive Thoughts
Dad’s Love
Loneliness
Children and Cronic Pain
Learning Difficulties
Feedback from clients
Night time Tuck _ A Must for all Children
EFT shortcuts for School Children
EFT and self Esteem
Children and Pessimism
EFT, Stress and Asthma
EFT for Fertility, Pregnancy and Birth
Confident, Happy Children
Imagine passing a gift to your children which helps unlock your their potential with developed confidence and self-esteem.
Imagine watching them produce better results in education, sports, the arts and life. Imagine how your child will benefit from enhanced confidence and self-esteem.
Have you ever noticed that confident children perform better, develop a more charismatic personality and tend to be more popular? Would you like your child to develop their confidence and self-esteem and move beyond their fears and limiting beliefs? Do you wish your children were confident enough to tell you everything? Would enhancing their talents give them an advantage in life?
Speaking to you as a parent who seriously wants their child to develop these skills, this could be one of the most important messages you ever read. Why? Because lack of confidence and self-esteem in children is linked to failing exams, under-performing, being bullied and unpopularity, thus shaping their adult personality and entire life.
Exam Confidence
Imagine the chance for your child to prepare for and take their exams with purpose, focus and clarity.
Imagine yourself been able to ensure they do themselves justice, without the stress and anxiety which plagues so many.
Imagine how much better your child will do in their exams when they feel confident, relaxed and motivated.
Exams and their pressures are a fact of life. And have you ever noticed that the people who perform at their best in exams are NOT the ones who worry themselves sick, night after night. Rather they are the children (and adults) who are motivated to do well, and who at the same time retain a sense of calm and perspective. Because feeling anxious does NOT improve your memory and your effectiveness during revision. And feeling anxious certainly does NOT improve your performance on the day!
Whereas being calmly confident DOES.
And when you consider all the time, effort and expense which goes into taking exams - and the long term consequences under-performance can bring - doesn't it just make sense to give your child every opportunity to feel confident, stay calm and do well?
Wouldn’t you rather.......?
It’s 4 am and you awaken with a jolt from a dream you are thoroughly enjoying having something to do with relaxing with your spouse on a tranquil beach. You soon confirm that the sound that roused you is not that of a speedboat interrupting your sunbathing but that of your 4 year old wailing after another nightmare.
Do you: (a) roll over and nudge your significant other out of bed, (b) run into your child’s room and spend the next hour consoling your little one, (c) cover your ears and hope for the best or (d) apply a round or two of EFT and get back to bed in under 5 minutes flat?
If you are one of the lucky parents who has familiarized yourself with this simple and effective tool known as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) then the answer to how to deal with a screaming child in the middle of the night would be the same one as if your child is throwing a tantrum about the way you cut his sandwich at lunch earlier.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a universal healing modality that is easy enough for my 8 year old to learn on his own but is powerful enough to assist people with everything from debilitating phobias to serious health conditions. By using a gentle tapping procedure that engages the same energy system as acupuncture, EFT rapidly balances the body and eases the emotions in sometimes very dramatic ways.
This indispensable method of dispelling negative emotions should be available to all and has contributed to the betterment of the earth by making the method easily available. As a mother of two and an EFT practitioner, I pull this incredible tool off my shelf to use with my children daily.
When my daughter comes home from school in tears that she has had an upsetting event happen, I use EFT on her. When my nephew starts to cry because we had to change the plans for the day and he can’t see his best friend instead, I use EFT. When a long loved pet (or a relatively newly rescued tadpole) suddenly dies and everyone is in tears, I use EFT. At the beginning of a new situation where my children don’t feel safe or the times where we are all too exhausted to be very cooperative or happy, I use EFT. Tears dry up, smiles come back, and anger vanishes like magic.
I will lay out the basic shortcut version here. A word of caution before you start: although I use this same technique on clients from everything from cancer to bedwetting I am not, nor is the founder of EFT, a doctor or therapist. You should seek the guidance of your health care provider before you begin using EFT on problems that you have been seeking medical and psychological advice on. It is also recommended that if you have a history of epilepsy or psychotic episodes that should refrain from using EFT unless you have the permission of a doctor.
Let’s use the nightmare example from above to illustrate how this works. Step one is The Setup: Try to identify the emotion by asking your child. Is it fear or something else? If your child is crying hysterically and this is a recurring theme then assume its fear; most parents intuitively know what their child is experiencing. Begin by tapping on the side of your child’s hand on the outside edge between the pinkie and the base of the hand. Either hand will do and for this set phase of the tapping you will be using three or four fingers to tap.
I tell my phone clients that they want to be tapping at a quick pace with the same firmness you would use on a push button phone whose numbers are sticky. In other words not so hard that it causes discomfort but not so softly that it is barely felt. While tapping say the following affirmation statement three times, “Even though I am afraid of the hairy monster, I deeply and completely accept myself”. If your child will repeat your words ask them to but I find this isn’t necessary and that if the child is very upset they generally can’t.
Step two: Begin the tapping. Tap the following points approximately 7 times. It doesn’t matter which side of the face and upper body you start with and you may alternate sides if it is easier for you to reach the points. The points are eyebrow, side of eye, under eye, under nose, chin point, collarbone, under arm and under breast.
The eyebrow point is located on the start of the eyebrow above and to the side of the bridge of the nose. The side of eye point is just outside the socket on the bone; the temple is too far back. The under eye point is again on the bone just below the center of the eye outside the socket. The nose point is midway between the bottom of the nose and the top of the upper lip. The chin point is just above the chin where most people have an indent or line. Collarbone point is on the indent just below where the collarbones protrude near the base of the neck. The under arm point is along the side of the body in approximately 2-4 inches below the armpit of a small child. The under breast point is located about 1 inch directly below the nipple.
Using your middle and index fingers tap those points while saying a reminder phrase to keep the mind focused on the problem. In the case above you could say this fear. Use the statement “this _______” filling in the blank with the emotion.
Step 3 is just to assess improvements and continue if necessary. Measure the progress your child is making towards feeling better by having him use his/her hands. Demonstrate that wide arms and hands means you feel a big negative emotion while hands closer together means the problem feels smaller.
For proverbial infants and toddlers you just need to look at their reaction to the tapping. A baby who was just minutes before screeching and is now at peace is obviously over the negative emotion. I like to use images children can relate to when measuring progress, “You were made as a lion before are you as calm as a wee bitty mouse now?”
If the problem is still present continue starting with the first step but change the setup and reminder phrases to include the word remaining; “Even though I still have some remaining fear, I deeply and completely accept myself” and the reminder phrase would be “this remaining fear”.
Some aspect of the problem may appear after a round or two. Aspects are different components of the broader problem. Let’s say that your child says he is really scared of the big hairy monster’s razor teeth, then you would tap on the aspect of the teeth for example, “Even though I am afraid of the monster’s big razor teeth, I deeply and completely accept myself’ and the reminder phrase would be “ this fear”
Here are some examples of situations and the appropriate wording to use for each: Your child is angry because her sibling took a toy from her then you’d say “Even though I am angry with Timmy for stealing my toy, I deeply and completely accept myself” and the reminder phrase would be “this anger”.
If your child doesn’t want you to leave him with a babysitter you could use, “Even though I am afraid to be away from Mommy, I deeply and completely accept myself” and the reminder phrase would be “this fear”.
All these steps will become second nature to you after you have practiced on yourself and your child a few times. To nurture a peaceful loving family culture, take the time to tap on yourself as well as your child; we all know that our children are particularly good at pushing our buttons. Many times have I witnessed changes in a child the moment we change how the parents are feeling about the child’s behavior.
Tap away the “ I just can’t do’s……
In the classroom, I selected an issue that several children could identify with, “I don’t like maths.”
It was no coincidence that I was there. The maths teacher had invited me in to ‘work some magic’ as she had put it as she was experiencing an unusually large proportion of pupils in her class ( 8-9 year olds) that had taken a downturn in interest in maths recently following a couple of difficult maths topics subsequent low test scores. Each pupil wrote down a number from 1 to 10 (with 10 being the strongest) indicating how much they disliked maths.
Then we began. I told the children to tap the karate-chop point on their own bodies and repeat what I said.
Even though I don’t like maths (–emotive language), I deeply and completely love and accept myself because I’m a brilliant child. (Repeat 3 times)
Then I tapped on the rest of the spots on the bear as the students copied me.
Eyebrow: I dislike maths!
Side of Eye: Math’s too hard!
Under Eye: Don’t understand what I’m learning!
Under Nose: Can’t remember what I’ve learnt!
Chin: Don’t like maths!
Collarbone: Maths is torture!
Under Arm: I’m no good at Maths! (important to use direct quotes from the group in question
Top of Head: It’s too hard!
We say the statements with a lot of emotion so the students get involved and strongly identify with their feelings about Maths. They love it when I say things like “Maths is torture!” because for some of them, it is! For others, they may realize, “Well, it’s not all that bad!” At the conclusion of the round, I ask the pupils to check their feelings to see if their numbers shifted. Since the numbers do shift, it’s a great revelation to the pupils that they have the power to change their feelings about something!
For a child’s Anger
EFT can be used for just about any emotional problem you can name and for just about anyone. That becomes quite clear in this case about a 5-year-old boy who developed major anger and behavior problems after witnessing his grandmother being accosted. EFT, of course, is not limited to just a child's anger. It applies to everyone and for all emotional issues, including learning disabilities, and should be adopted by every school system in the world.
Josh, it seems, was a very happy, well-adjusted youngster until he witnessed his grandmother being attacked and mugged (purse stolen) several months ago. Since then, he has been quite angry and volatile (explosive is the word his mother used) towards his grandmother.
Previously, his grandmother was a loving figure in his life but, after the accident, he would say things to her like, "I hate you. I hate you. Why don't you go to a jungle in South America and die." His sense of security was apparently severely violated because he would go into tantrums if someone left open the door to the house and was on constant alert when purses were located near him.
EFT is just as effective with children as it is with adults and pets. The challenge, however, is to gain rapport with them and hold their attention. Also, children are not always able to articulate their emotional issues, so extra creativity is often necessary.
The Heart of the Matter
I asked Josh to tell me about the incident with his grandmother but he didn't want to talk about it. He kept saying, "I don't know." I needed, of course, to have him "tune in" to the problem so I asked him to sit in his mother's lap while she told the story as though she was Josh.
His mother did a good job detailing the event while I did the tapping. I threw in a few setup phrases such as, "Even though this bad thing happened, I'm OK," and, to help maintain rapport, I stopped a time or two to do another "balloon thing." This went on for about 20 minutes and Josh seemed OK with it. We had no idea how we were doing, however, because getting a SUDS reading on a scale of 0-10 didn't seem feasible with this little boy. There were no outward, tangible signs of improvement. He just sat there and listened to his mother while I tapped.
We did get a clue, however, after the first 20 minutes. His mother came to a part in the story that caused Josh to put his hands over his ears as though he didn't want to listen. "Hooray," I said inside my head. "He's tuned into something big."
I knew he could hear his mother, despite his efforts to the contrary, so I nodded for her to keep talking while I kept tapping. Within moments, Josh took his hands off of his ears and listened calmly as his mother completed the story. Progress? It seemed that way but the only way we would know for sure is if Josh's behavior changed in the future.
Another clue came as they were about to leave. Do you remember the comment above where I said Josh was constantly alert as to where purses were located? Well, when Josh wasn't looking I sneaked his mother's purse (she watched me do it) from off of an adjacent chair and hid it behind me. We took our time saying goodbye thus giving Josh plenty of opportunity to notice that the purse was missing. He even looked at the chair where the purse formerly resided and didn't notice it was missing. No reaction whatsoever.
As we parted ways, I again emphasized to Josh's mother that we had no way of knowing what progress had been made here. Only his future behavior would tell us. I mentioned that the ideal time to tap in the future would be when he seemed angry or upset about something. At these times, he is "tuned in" to something important and this is where tapping would most likely be effective.
The Post-Treatment Effect
I spoke with her four days after our session with Josh and learned the following:
1.The door to the house has been left open frequently and Josh has never even noticed. Formerly, this was a big deal. On one occasion, he was even asked to close the door because it was getting cold. He closed it routinely without any reaction.
2.There have been some temper flare-ups in the meantime and each time Josh's mother administered the tapping. Each problem subsided in moments. This, to me, is evidence of aspects that weren't in Josh's thoughts during our session.
3.While there have been some heated words against his grandmother, the frequency has been substantially reduced and he recently crawled into his grandmother's lap in a loving manner. This is major progress, according to Josh's mother.
4.Josh's mother suggested that maybe grandma should be given a medal for saving the lives of both Josh and his mother. After all, if grandma hadn't been there, maybe the "bad guy" would have come after the other family members instead. This is a classic reframe, of course, but it landed beautifully.
The result was the making of a card for grandma that said, "Thanks for saving our lives. Love, Josh and Mommy." The card was Josh's idea and those were also Josh's words.
In my experience, reframes tend to land beautifully after EFT has brought about some quality cognitive change. It's one of the ways I assess when progress has been made. Until the cognitive change, the belief system rejects such a reframe or, at best, gives it a wave of the hand as if to say, "Nice try."
But when it lands, as it did here, I take it as evidence of noticeable success. As many of you may notice, this is a different slant on reframes. Many people use reframes as an effort to cause change. I use them as evidence of change.
One final note: Josh has some sibling rivalry issues with his little sister (age 18 months). I don't know if they are directly related to his previous issues or not. But this doesn't always matter. Whatever negative issues come up become tappable events. So just tap and see what happens. Finding core issues is usually helpful in complicated cases, but EFT often works beautifully even when we are not able to discern the roots.
Feedback from Josh's mother:
“I have the identical purse as the purse my mom [Josh's Grandmother] was wearing when she got mugged. It's a big black bag that is specifically designed to be comfortable and safe for folks with back injuries. Josh has not wanted me to carry mine since the mugging, he becomes agitated and upset, so I stopped carrying it. As a matter of fact, I stopped carrying bags altogether. After you and I talked, I took it out and started using it, saying nothing to Josh about it. He has not mentioned it or seemed even to care in the least. I have hung it on a chair in the kitchen for him to see it.... No big deal.
( The ultimate measuring stick regarding effectiveness -- always involves a change in the client's behavior. Without that, everything else is just theory.
Interestingly, Josh is perhaps the finest anecdotal evidence we can find for the effectiveness of EFT because he can't be accused of "going along," wanting to please or having preconceived beliefs. He's just a little boy with anger problems that faded away after tapping. The fact that he doesn't even notice the purse should sound a big trumpet to those who are still skeptical.
Some would call this result subtle but I call it powerful -- very powerful. Where he used to get very irritated at the presence of the purse, he now considers it a non-event. A result like that would take weeks or months with conventional techniques and, even then, progress may be iffy. Also, please recall that he used to get upset at open doors. No longer. Those are a non-event as well. Subtle? No. Powerful.)
Josh's mother continues: Also, yesterday Josh and I were driving in the car and someone cut me off, I got a bit upset and said, "I'm going to start tapping about it." Josh said, "OK Mummy, you tap and I'll start letting air out of the balloon." (he pretended to be a balloon) He kept saying, "you better tap again, I think you didn't get all the anger out." Then he said, "Mum I think we should use a balloon every time we tap so we can watch the anger go away!"
Interesting feedback. Children aren't always able to articulate what is important to them from a meeting like this. I only used that metaphor once (i.e. air escaping from a balloon was like getting rid of "bad feelings"). Apparently, it stuck. Again, we are often unsure of what we did with children until we observe the child's behavior afterwards.
Josh's mother continues: I have two questions I forgot to ask you on the phone. Every time I finish tapping on Josh he always hugs me and says I love you in some way or another. I also noticed that when I tried tapping on myself, I had lots of loving feelings afterwards as well. What's that about?
Many report these loving feelings. I explain it this way. The more we unload our emotional baggage (fears, anger, guilt, grief, depression, etc.) the less resistance there is to experiencing our spiritual birthright -- a state of perfect love.
EFT for fear of needles
Rianna a thirteen-year-old who had a malignant tumor on her spine, suffers from a paralyzing fear of needles. Rianna is a bright, articulate and artistically gifted young lady. She has a catheter in her chest that is threaded into a big vein so that she can receive her chemotherapy. Soon her chemo will be finished and the catheter will be removed. This is a good thing but she will require blood tests about every three months.
Each time she goes to the hospital to have blood drawn painlessly from her catheter, she becomes extremely anxious and upset at the mere sight of blood or even a discussion of drawing blood.
She suffers considerable anticipatory anxiety just thinking about being stuck with a needle three or four months hence.
I visited Rianna and her mother at their home. Riannaa's anxiety was clearly visible, indeed palpable, as she began to describe her angst at the very thought of being stuck with a needle.
I briefly explained EFT in its most rudimentary form and asked permission of both mother and child to proceed. She said that her level of distress was a "9.5", exactly, on a scale of "0" to "10".
We completed one full round of tapping and although she laughed and giggled at the "tapping and zapping", she cooperated. Having completed the first round of tapping, I asked her to describe her current level of distress. She appeared confused and could only state that she did not know and yet, no amount of prodding could produce the slightest bit of distress at the prospect of having blood drawn or being stuck with a needle.
I felt my work here was done. A week later, my colleague called to say that she had come in to the hospital for her routine blood work. Rianna insisted that the blood be drawn from her arm with a needle so she could "try out this tapping stuff". According to my colleague, Rianna closed her eyes, took several deep breaths and then began to "tap and chant". When she was through, the blood was drawn without incident to the amazement of the nurses and doctors. Her mother watched in wonder. Rianna did not understand what the big deal was; after all, it was just a little needle.
Her fear of needles is now gone, in all probability, forever. End of story!
EFT Eliminates Child's Motion Sickness
Met with 7-year-old Jack and his mum. Jason consistently vomited in the car and on airplanes and they always traveled with motion sickness bags.
Jack talked about how he felt we did EFT with Jack for his "dizzy feeling," "sick feeling" and "throw-up feeling." These are the three issues that Jason associated with his carsickness. After the EFT, Jason's anxious feelings disappeared and he said he wasn't upset about his carsickness anymore.
While in my office, Jack no longer had an emotional reaction when thinking about being carsick. But the real test would be their car ride home ... a drive that would inevitably make Jason vomit.
Even though they collapsed the problem in the office, sometimes it will re-occur when you're in the real situation. This doesn't mean that EFT didn't work, just that you need to do the procedure on the real thing.
Before they left the office, Jack showed his mum how to do EFT, which reinforced the technique in his own mind. I also gave him a drawing of the EFT points to tap on himself if he felt his symptoms return while they were driving.
After three minutes of EFT in the car, the motion sickness was gone ... it was as if it never happened.
The next day Jack's mother dropped in on me at my office and exclaimed, "It worked!" She told me about their trip home after Jason's appointment. When they got in the car to drive home, Jack was sitting in the back seat and his mother watched him in the rear view mirror as he began to turn pale ... his first stage of motion sickness.
Without any prompting, Jack sat back in his seat and began rubbing the first EFT point for about two minutes. Then he sat up in his seat, more alert ... and tapped on seven EFT points. This took about three minutes.
Jack's mother reported, "After this one round it was like he returned to where he was prior to the motion sickness and promptly complained about his siblings taking his balloon as if nothing had happened!" That evening Jack taught his mother how to do EFT.
Emotional Eating
Emotional stress can take a major toll on your child’s health. If emotional challenges appear to be affecting your child, consider using EFT, a safe, non-invasive technique to relieve emotional stress.
Emotions also play a major role in child obesity, as many children’s weight loss efforts get sabotaged by emotional eating. Children may also have a hard time giving up their junk food snacks. This is where the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) comes in. EFT can be profoundly helpful in alleviating not only food cravings, but also the underlying emotional challenges, such as low self-esteem
Sleep Issues
Sleep for adults and children alike is an essential part of life, sleep-deprivation, both in the short- and long-term, causes serious adverse health effects.
Sleep should be a priority in your life as it plays a dramatic role in your overall health--much like proper nutrition and regular exercise. Without enough sleep, your body will be challenged to reach its optimal state of health.
Please bear in mind also that the timing of your sleep--for example from 1 a.m. to 7 a.m. versus 9 p.m. to 3 a.m.--will affect its quality.
The more hours that you can sleep before midnight and in synch with the sun, the better off you will be.
If you find yourself lying awake at night, unable to sleep, you may be one of the many people who have problems sleeping due to anxiety, stress or other emotional challenges. For these types of concerns, EFT works remarkably well and can help to induce peaceful slumber.
Insomnia is a major challenge for many of us. One of the best methods for treating insomnia is Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). EFT can help balance your body’s bioenergy system and resolve some of the emotional stresses that are contributing to the insomnia at a very deep level. The results are typically long lasting and the improvement is remarkably rapid.
If you have some serious issues it is strongly recommended that you find an EFT professional to help you. EFT can help you to channel your stress-related thoughts and leave you feeling calmer and more able to face your challenges.
Abuse Issues
Abuse of all types can have incredible devastation on not only their emotional health, but also their physical health.
It is quite common to see some of our most seriously physically ill patients to have an underlying abuse issue at the core of their problem.
Traditional cognitive counseling is typically necessary to come to grips with the situation. It provides one with a measure to understand the process, but in my experience, rarely provides a solution for the subconscious disruptions that contributed to the problem.
EFT is one of the major tools that we use to help the individual resolve the problem at a deep level. Working with a skilled therapist is recommended.
Depression during Pregnancy can Affect Child's Health
Women who are depressed while pregnant are known to be more likely to have infants who show increased irritability, erratic sleep patterns and diminished responsiveness.
A mother's prenatal depression may also put her child
at risk for problem behavior during the early elementary school years.
A mother's psychological well-being is important for her child's well-being, even before birth and through childhood. In our study, mothers' depressive symptoms during pregnancy were related to children's behavioral problems 8 to 9 years later.
Mothers who reported prenatal depression had a threefold increased risk of having children with a high level of delinquency or aggressiveness.
They were also 8.5 times more likely to have children with a high level of total problems, including delinquency, aggressiveness and symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Mothers who reported current depression were also more likely to have low-functioning or problematic children than their non depressed peers -- a finding consistent with previous research.
Factors such as depression during the postnatal period, single parenthood, maternal age of 35 years or older, and having a male child were linked to a mother's low rating of her child's social competence, which included activity participation, peer and family relationship functioning and school achievement.
And a mother's report of current depression seemed to predict whether her child's behaviour, working, learning and happiness were rated low by the child's teacher.
Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry December 2001
This study provides us with really useful information and helps place an important perspective on why we get sick. It is my observation that the vast majority of people I see for medical illnesses have at the root of their problem some previous stress.
Most of the time the roots of the trauma go back to childhood. As this study points out, a mother's depression and stress will alter the child's future health, and that can go all the way back to the time when the child was in their mother's uterus.
Although the study does not address this, I believe that there is also a link to the father's stresses and these frequently are transferred to the child.
This can lead to a vicious cycle of repetition that can go on for many generations. Clearly there are some powerful take-home messages. Depression, and stress, should ideally be treated prior to a woman becoming pregnant.
Fortunately in the last few years we have acquired some excellent tools to address these issues in the field of energy psychology. EFT is my favourite but there are clearly many other approaches to address these problems at their core level.
Most traditional medical approaches are hopelessly ineffective for these problems as they rely on medications to treat the symptoms. Traditional psychotherapy that is typically cognitively based is a step in the right direction.
Psychotherapy is clearly an important element of the total healing process, but it is nearly always incapable of facilitating the repair of the very real physiological damage that results from previous stresses.
It would seem that aggressive use of EFT types of therapies prior to conception would be one of the best investments that a couple could make for the future long term health of their child
Power of Positive Thoughts
It has long been believed that a person’s beliefs and hopes may affect their outcome of prognosis. One study found that optimism could lower the risk of heart disease in older men, whereas pessimism can increase the disease. Strong evidence has proven that patients with heart disease who feel hopeless about their condition do worse because they lost faith in themselves.
Many psychologists now believe that schools should incorporate a method to teach children about optimism so that no child has to face an illness with a negative attitude. The earlier you teach a person how to handle certain situations, the better they can handle that situation later in life.
Drugs are not the solution for the vast majority of ailments that we facing. They are instead simply sticky plasters that cover up the underlying cause of the illness.
There is a growing body of evidence to suggest that a patient’s beliefs and hopes affect their prognosis. Daily I use Using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and associated techniques to help patients affirm their beliefs and overcome any emotional challenges that may be hindering their healing. Emotional health is absolutely essential to your physical health and healing.
Your Belief Becomes Your Reality
Dad's Love
Various studies have unsurprising shown that a father's love -- or the lack of it -- contributes as much to the development of a child's personality and behaviour as the love of a mother. In some respects, a father's love is even more influential. Researchers reviewed almost 100 US and European studies investigating the effects of parenting on the psychology and behavior of children as they grew older. The earliest study was conducted in 1949, and the most recent was completed in 2001.
They report that the degree of acceptance or rejection a child receives -- and perceives -- from his or her father appears to affect his or her development as deeply as the presence or absence of a mother's love.
They note that the withholding of love by either the mother or the father is equally connected to a child's lack of self-esteem, emotional instability, withdrawal, depression and anxiety. And the risk of developing problems with aggression, drug and alcohol abuse, and delinquency was equally related to a child's rejection or acceptance by either parent.
The investigators also found that having the love and nurturing of either parent has an equally positive effect on a child's happiness, well-being and social and academic success from early childhood through young adulthood.
The team further found that in certain instances, the love of a father plays an even more important role than that of the mother. Many studies found a father's love to be the sole determining factor when it came to a child's problems with personality, conduct, delinquency or substance abuse.
The researchers don't want to suggest that a mother's love is less important than the love of a father. The research reveals an American cultural bias to overemphasize the role the mother plays in raising her children, at the expense of understanding and appreciating the equally crucial role of the father.
In certain aspects, father's love seems to have a particularly strong influence. So it seems clear that we have to move away from mother-bashing: assuming somehow that the mother is completely at fault for all the problems of her kids. And, hopefully, this information will encourage fathers all over the country to become more involved with their kids.
Review of General Psychology December 2001
It is a sad tragedy if dad's are not able to emotionally invest in their children. Many of us have not had the experience of our father's love and, as a result, are challenged with complications in our adult life.
The key is prevention, so if you are a dad please take this message seriously and do whatever it takes to love your children authentically. It will go a long way towards their future health and happiness.
Many of us reading this will not have a choice of changing the love we received from our fathers. If this is an issue for you I have found that EFT is a helpful tool to help one forgive, understand and accept whatever type of treatment that was received from your parents.
Why Being Lonely Makes You Get Sick Faster
The pangs of loneliness can certainly take a toll on your health. According to a study, lonely first-year university students had a weaker immunity after taking a flu vaccine than other students did.
Not only that, researchers found that social isolation--measured by the size of a student's social network--and feelings of loneliness independently negotiated the students' immunity. The study involved 83 students--mostly 18-19 years old--who were recruited in their first term.
•For two weeks, starting two days before vaccination, the students recorded their emotional responses four times a day on palm computers.
•For five days during that period, researchers collected saliva samples four times a day to measure levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.
•Students also filled out questionnaires that calculated the size of their social networks when the study began, and during a four-month follow-up period, to assess loneliness.
•Researchers reviewed blood samples taken just before the flu shot and one and four months after for antibody levels--which indicated how well the students' immune systems acted in response to the multi-strain flu vaccine.
What did the data reveal? Researchers found that light social ties were connected at a level of statistical significance with poorer immune response to one component of the multi-strain vaccine, separate from feelings of loneliness. In addition, loneliness was linked with a weaker immunity to the same strain as late as four months after the shot.
Thus, the findings emphasized the knowledge that social factors are important to one's overall health.
Every feeling you have affects some part of your body. The fact is that negative emotions, like loneliness and unresolved anger, are some of the most fundamental causes of disease yet to be discovered.
Another confirmation of this is a recent study that describes how physical wounds can take much longer to heal when you find yourself in hostility and conflict, rather than one filled with pleasure and happiness. The implications of this study's results are very clear:
If you can't find ways to accommodate to the stress in your life, you may never heal.
One of the most effective tools you can use to protect your health while bolstering your self-esteem is something I use daily in my practice: the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
We see repeatedly that unresolved emotions such as loneliness, anger, trauma and fear show up in the body as physical ailments
Excerpt from one of my many cases.
"Tapping his karate chop point, David repeated after me (whether he agreed or resonated with what I was asking him to say or not):
'Even though I have this incurable neck pain ... And even though I let my mum down when I was younger ... I love myself... I'm OK ... And even though life is a tremendous burden. And life is a pain in the neck. And I can't fix everything for everyone. And I can't stop people suffering. I'm OK. I accept myself. And even though I can't cope with everything and I feel unsupported ... I matter... And I thank my body for giving me this gift ... For telling me I have to stop and think of me too ... And even though I can't fix everything ... I'm a good boy ...'
At which point, David burst out laughing and his neck pain lifted. We walked into the garden giggling like little children, with sparks of light flying around us.
The next day, David had no need of his neck collar."
To most people, the link between our unresolved emotions and our physical ailments is intuitive commonsense. Most of us can cite many personal examples of this ranging from "tension headaches" to ulcers. Further, once EFT is properly applied to the emotional issue(s), the physical symptoms frequently subside or DISAPPEAR.
As Dr. Eric Robins, MD says ...
"Some day the medical profession will wake up and realize that unresolved emotional issues are the main cause of 85 percent of all illnesses. When they do, EFT will be one of their primary healing tools ... as it is for me."
Children Suffer From Chronic Pain Too
Epidemiological studies have demonstrated that In fact, 2 percent of children and adolescents may be living with severe, debilitating and recurring pain symptoms that can be severe enough to:
•Interrupt sleep
•Restrict physical activity
•Prevent them from attending school
Yet despite the negative impact this chronic pain can hold over a child, the lack of data on successful treatments is, to boldly phrase it, embarrassing. And the children aren't the only ones suffering ...
Families Affected Too
Studies have indicated that the emotional distress and heightened sense of vulnerability that accompany a child's chronic pain can have a major impact on parents and siblings. For example, many parents report higher than normal levels of anxiety, as well as marital and financial problems.
Additionally, many doctors who deal with children suffering from chronic pain resort to potentially toxic drug-based treatments that are often developed from data collected on adults, meaning success can be spotty at best. Such inaccurate and unhelpful treatments can fuel fear and frustration in children and their parents.
Addressing Emotions Instead
Research done by the Pain Management Unit at the University of Bath found that it may be possible to reduce the impact of pain on the lives of children and their families with the help of psychologically-based treatments.
Pain can be exceptionally useful in helping you identify something that can cause you even worse pain or possibly death if not addressed. So I take the position of embracing and loving pain for the important warning signal it can provide.
Once you understand what is causing the pain you can start using natural therapies to address the underlying cause. At that point you can consider using drug therapies to relieve your pain, as pain itself will actually cause your adrenals to worsen.
Even though natural treatments and even drugs can be effective in managing your pain as you heal, in my opinion, pain management treatment protocols can be incomplete if they do not address your emotional well-being. Therapies addressing psychological issues in a case of chronic pain may be all that is needed to provide some relief.
Using EFT very often has astonising benefits for the management of chronic pain which I regularly use in my practice and most highly recommend to optimise your emotional health, especially if pain is part of your problem.
Please remember, although it is still often overlooked, emotional health is absolutely essential to your physical health and healing. No matter what other options you choose to help manage your pain, you will not achieve the same level of success as you will if you clear emotional barriers that stand in your way.
Learning Difficulties
If you are dealing with a child who has learning difficulties or you yourself have some challenges, then you already know that this is an emotionally charged subject. As the one struggling with learning difficulties you are likely to be frustrated, angry and have low self esteem.
As the parent or teacher, it can be heart breaking to watch your child suffering and having to deal with your own feelings of frustration.
These emotional issues may be side effects of the learning difficulties but they can quickly become a contributing cause too. It can become a vicious circle. You are upset because you can't read. Being upset makes reading harder. So you get more upset. And so on. That is just one reason why it is so important to deal with emotional issues.
Emotional Freedom
If you have been dealing with learning difficulties for a while then you already know what I am talking about. And you have probably tried many approaches. That is why you may be interested in a EFT as a different approach. And it really is different. So I ask that you consider it with an open mind, after all if you carry on doing the same thing then you will only get the same results.
EFT is unbeatable as a set of techniques for better and quicker ways of getting results. Through all my levels of training, I was literally astounded by EFT's effectiveness and speed. And what's more it is something I was able to teach my clients to do for themselves. In some cases I even taught them over the phone.
For children with learning difficulties of all descriptions EFT is easy to learn and is completely safe. Just imagine being able to tap yourself or your child into the right state to be able to learn. Or to help them with their self esteem.
Now I know that for most people this will seem pretty strange. But, as I said before, if you don't try something different, you can't expect any different results.
"
With only one week of tapping, a 12 year old girl client of mine was completely cured of a speech problem that she had been battling for years! "